With International Women’s Day coming up this weekend, I’ve been thinking a lot about identity.

Not just what we’re doing in our businesses – but who we’re actually becoming.

Because strategy matters. Of course it does. But more often than not, it’s the story we hold about ourselves that actually decides how visible we’re willing to be.

And something I witnessed at last year’s Australian Small Business Champions Awards has been sitting with me ever since.

I noticed a pattern women were falling into that I couldn’t unsee.

Whenever there was a man and a woman on stage accepting an award together (as partners in business, or life), nine times out of ten…

…the woman stood slightly behind, off to the side, and was quiet.

The man gave the acceptance speech (acknowledging his partner).

Occasionally the woman would add a sentence or two at the end, but mostly they stood back and let the man do the talking. They let him take the lead.

Now – to be super clear – I’m not sharing this to criticise how any woman showed up on that night. Not even close.

I’m sharing it because this pattern didn’t surprise me. This is the conditioning most of us have grown up with: generations of messaging about staying small, being agreeable, and not taking up too much space.

In other words, being the supportive woman behind the man.

And if I’m honest, that used to be me too. In another version of my life, it still could be. Sometimes I still have moments where part of me wishes it was – because it feels easier. I could stay where I’m comfortable and face far less risk.

When my name was called that night, I was incredibly nervous. My heart was racing. My hands were shaking. My mouth was dry. If there’d been someone else to stand in my place, part of me might have let them.

If you’ve ever been nervous in front of an audience, I know you know.

But I got up on the stage, accepted the award, and I managed to very briefly get out a couple of sentences about the importance of women being visible in business.

Later that night when I was reflecting back on things, all I could think was … I wish I’d said more. I wish I’d had more confidence. I wish I’d backed myself just a little bit more in that moment.

But I was also super proud … Because I did get up there. And I did use my voice – even though I didn’t say as much as I wanted to.

Because this is what I know to be true: Confidence can only be built by taking action.

And by taking that step last year, I know the next time will be easier. I’ll be able to say more.

Supporting women to take those steps – and then the next ones after that – is what drives my work.

Because as we all know, the work for women isn’t finished.

We are only here, with the opportunities we have today, because of the generations of women before us who spoke up, pushed forward, and challenged what was considered ‘normal’.

They didn’t wait until they felt ready. They didn’t wait until it felt comfortable.

They used their voices anyway.

And now – it’s our turn.

Not to step in front of the men in our lives – but to stand alongside them. To lead in our own way. And to model what’s possible for the women coming behind us.

Because every time an experienced midlife woman in business speaks up, shares her perspective, and backs herself publicly…

…it reminds another woman what’s possible.

That’s the ripple effect of visibility that I’m so passionate about.

But here’s the part I want to clearly name – especially if you’re a woman who already feels like you’re visible: Posting regularly is not the finish line. Being comfortable is not the goal.

Growth – real growth – should never stop, and it almost always lives in the next uncomfortable edge of your visibility.

For you, it might be the podcast you haven’t pitched for yet. The stage you haven’t put your hand up for. The stronger opinion you’ve been softening. The room you’ve been circling but haven’t been brave enough to walk into yet.

This is where the work is now.

Because the truth is, many experienced midlife women in business are already showing up… but still playing it safer than their next level requires.

I’m guilty of it too sometimes. So I get it. I really do. Visibility stretches us. It makes us feel exposed and vulnerable.

But if we want different results – for ourselves and for the women coming behind us – we can’t keep stopping at the point where it feels comfortable.

And let’s not pretend this is theoretical. We’re living in a time where women’s rights are regressing in parts of the world – gains that took decades to build are being questioned or rolled back.

So we have to keep taking steps. And it doesn’t have to be in a loud, performative way. It can be in a grounded, intentional, values-led way that says:

• I’m willing to be seen at my next level.
• I’m willing to use my voice with more clarity.
• I’m willing to model what’s possible for the women watching me.

Because whether we realise it or not… they are watching. I was reminded that my daughter is watching every day, and carefully listening too.

At dinner with friends last night, I overheard her mention something I’d said a few weeks ago that helped her get through a tough moment. At the time, I had no idea it had made such a difference, or even that she’d hung onto those words. But now I’m so glad I spoke up, and it’s given me greater confidence to do it again when there’s a ‘next time’.

So yes, the work for women is not done yet.

Those who came before us have been pushing the door open, a little further with every generation. And our role now is to keep walking through it – and to keep it wide open for the women who will follow.

So as we head into International Women’s Day, don’t just make this a month for celebrating how far women have come. Use it as a moment to ask yourself:

• Where am I still holding back my voice?
• And what’s one meaningful step forward I could take this month?

Because that step you take next won’t just change things for you. It will also change what feels possible for the women coming next.